but I’m going to rant to you anyway. So here’s the thing – in true Ani Difranco form, I am not a pretty girl. I’m not talking about aesthetics here but attitude. I don’t do those girly things that (I guess?) are expected of me. I haven’t planned my wedding since I was 5. I don’t dream day in and out about being a mother. And I tend not to get along with women who do.
Lately it seems that I am regularly assaulted with completely asinine questions about what it is I want in life. Apparently working my butt of to finish a master’s degree in 5 semesters doesn’t count. And why not? Oh, well you see, I have a boyfriend. And as a girl with a boyfriend in her late 20′s, I should want all of the following things:
- an engagement ring
- an engagement party
- to plan a wedding wherein inevitably one family member will have too much to drink and make everyone feel uncomfortable and another family member will complain that the chicken was dry loud enough for the entire party to hear
- to have kids by the time I’m 30
- to get to spend at least a little time being a housewife
- the amazing “fairy tale” ending that everyone is supposed to strive for
Here are the things I REALLY want:
- to finish my degree without accidentally going completely gray
- to get a job sooner rather than later so I can stop being a mooch member of society and join the rest of the adults in the adult world
- sleep
- to figure out what color I am going to paint my office when my boyfriend and I eventually actually get to move into the house he’s buying
- to find a way to prevent my skin from getting so dry this winter
- to watch an episode of ANY television show without falling asleep during the last 10 minutes
- to actually cross of everything on my “To Do” list
- to find cute yet comfortable everyday shoes that I can wear to work
- a really awesome holiday party with good friends
- the really sweet L-shaped desk from Pottery Barn that I’ve had my eye on
This doesn’t seem too problematic, but here is the part where you may want to stop reading if you find that you are faint of heart in an overly annoyingly feminine way. I am so tired of people asking when I’m going to get engaged.
I’m sorry. I know that I really suck as a member of female society. I know that all across the nation women everywhere are turning off Dr. Oz and shouting at this blog post “what is WRONG with you?!?” I don’t care.
Passed out yet?
Survive the shock?
Great. Moving right along then.
Maybe I just managed to not get that gene or something (my sister certainly has the girly gene) but I’m just not into that stuff. My relationship isn’t a game where I get to advance to the next level if I convince my boyfriend to propose. I don’t win any contest by getting married before I’m 30.
*sigh*
I actually had a near-stranger suggest that I start dropping hints to my boyfriend that we’re nearing 30 and that if we’re not engaged by the time I’m 28, I should break up with him. For the record, this near-stranger was an older woman who works at one of the schools where I’ve been doing my practicum.
I thought we were past this? Didn’t we declare those games dumb and universally decide that we could get married when we felt the time was right in our relationship, not when society tells us we should if we’re going to be the idyllic Betty Crocker type?
This is why I’m crazy picky about my female friends.
Oh and also, I’ve decided that I’m going to start responding with “That’s really not any of your business and I find it offensive” when people try to push their girly mindgames on me. I’m hoping it makes them as uncomfortable as it makes me when they suggest that I give my boyfriend an ultimatum on something I don’t even have in my field of vision at the present time.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!! YOU TELL ‘EM, GIRL! i’m with you all the way. don’t let anyone put you in their idea of what a box should look like. if you want to live in a circle, you damn well have the right to do that. who’s to say living in circles isn’t the norm?
i hear you but i think to each their own. i am probably less of a girl than you but i do enjoy talking to people about being engaged and when they are getting engaged. it’s annoying when people ask you all the time but i just brush it off. it will happen when it happens. no big deal. as for the ultimatiums, you would think they would have stopped but i keep hearing stories of girls threatening their boyfriends to propose or its over. who the eff wants to be engaged to someone bc you had to threaten them, that is true love for sure lol!
To each their own, sure, but that should hypothetically fall to me as well. I’m just finding it frustrating that people don’t hear me when I say I’m happy and try to tell me what it is I really want.